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I spoon with your silhouette, our bodies still so warm as we come down. My arm curls around your waist, just below your breasts, and I can still feel your heartbeat as it gradually slows down from release, from the aftershocks that shiver through us.It's the first time we've both decided to sleep in the same bed.I don't even think about leaving. Everything feels right with you. I always sense distance with others, whether it's them or just me. Part of my problem with getting close to others is that I can be seen as cold at times. My mind is more suited to understand numbers, angles, formulas.... trusting the tangible and what can be proven. With people, it's all guesswork. Gauging and missteps. Seeing angles and shapes that may not exist in someone and being unable to let go and lose myself. It's always been different with you, though. You see a darkness in me and never entirely flee from it. You cautiously touch around the edges, step inside, and always find me in the dark. What I. I know...what the hell is that you say. Well I'll tell you. I can honestly say that I have never had a sexual thought about a man in my life. I don't fantasize about the guys I work with or my mechanic or any male celebrity...well except for maybe Clay Aiken. Just kidding about Clay, while I'm sure he is a great guy, he really doesn't do a thing for me. It was a little joke. Besides I think he would look terrible in a singlet! LOL!! Seriously though, it started the very first year I wrestled, which would have been the 8th grade. That's when I had my first sexual thought about another guy. Something about the smell of mingled sweat and skin tight spandex just turned my crank. But as soon as the season was over so were the thoughts...till the next year. But I digress...that is another story. Suffice it to say that I love my wife, I ADORE her, and I would NEVER cheat on her for ANY reason. I have never fantasized about another woman since I met Billie, but those boys in their singlets.
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